By The Way I Don't Really Love You
by Devilzzz
Summary: *Complete* The Weasleys need a passtime; Harry needs a distraction; Hermione needs some spice in her life; Cho needs to learn a lesson; Wishes do come true... H/HR
1. I am A Hazard To Myself

By The Way, I Don't Really Love You _________________________________________  
  
Disclaimer: I own a pair of socks.  
  
Summary: Cho's demanding ways to her boyfriend Harry makes the Weasley twins infuriated. They need a distraction to Harry; and the victim? Hermione Granger.  
  
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***  
  
"How long have you been listening?" said Hermione Granger, tapping her foot impatiently against the floor.  
  
Fred and George exchanged rather guilty looks.  
  
"Five minutes?" Fred offered hopefully.  
  
Hermione's stern look didn't seem comforting at all.  
  
"Try again," she presisted lazily.  
  
"Alright, an hour. But all they do is argue! No moans or anything," George complained, pointing at the locked door to the Gryffindor Prefect Dorm.  
  
Ron was slumped down in a corner of the common room, not yet noticed by Hermione. But he was soon to be discovered too.  
  
"Ron! You pervert!" Hermione shrieked in a shrill voice, pointing a long finger at him accusingly.  
  
"Shut up, Herm! You're going to make them suspicious!" Ron hissed back, looking at his feet.  
  
Hermione Granger sighed, pulling a wisp of brown hair behind her ear. Ever since sixteen year old Cho Chang and fifteen year old Harry Potter had become boyfriend and girlfriend; she found it rather hard to concentrate.  
  
It wasn't like she hated Cho.  
  
Hate was a strong word; and she perfered not to use it on anybody, not even Draco Malfoy.  
  
She just disliked the fact that Harry liked Cho. He could have done so much better, she thought.  
  
Unaware of some jealousy stirring around her stomach, she turned her attention to the three Weasley boys.  
  
"Demented, demented," she muttered in a rather haughty voice.  
  
She smirked at them and walked toward the door slowly, and leaned over to listen in.  
  
The Weasleys brightened up very easily.  
  
***  
  
"Harry, haven't we gone over this like a million times?" Cho's shrill voice demanded.  
  
"I just don't see how Hermione affects our relationship!" Harry muttered.  
  
"She affects us a lot! Don't pretend I don't notice how you look at her," Cho accused, her hands tightly wrapped around her well shaped hips. Her hair swung to the side a bit.  
  
Harry wrinkled up his nose in disgust.  
  
His mind wandered over to the stupidity of random things.  
  
Like how close Cho was leaning over that he could see that her skirt zipper was halfway open. And the fact that lip gloss was smeared from her bottom lip to her right cheek.  
  
And how her long curly black hair always swung to the side. Hermione was so much different.  
  
She had a complexion of peach colored skin; and straight brown hair with small curls left in the end. The only makeup that showed on her face was the soft shining of lip gloss.  
  
Harry had a strong urge to yank Cho's hair off her head.  
  
Because he had reason to believe she was bald.  
  
***  
  
"Gawd, see how awful she is?" Hermione said. Fred and George exchanged devious stares.  
  
"Somebody's jealous..." Ron sang lightly under his breath.  
  
"Oh, shut up you. Now all of you return to your beds; they aren't going to have- have-" Hermione stuttered, her cheeks rising into a flushing color of red.  
  
Ron grinned.  
  
"Intercourse," she finished with a whisper. Ignoring the howls of laughter that followed behind her, she stomped up the stairs, trying to regain some dignity.  
  
***  
  
"You know, I can tell she has a thing for him," Fred proclaimed as his brothers walked up the stairs with him.  
  
"Yeah. If only he even noticed. Did you notice how Cho stomped out of the room like that? Demanded if that he didn't stop communicating with Hermione; he wouldn't have any pleasure from her," George chortled slightly.  
  
Ron choked a bit.  
  
"That's pure torture!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Precisely. What he needs is a distraction, something to forget all about that slut," Fred spat out.  
  
"Slut? But didn't she say she was saving herself up for Harry-" Ron stopped in midsentence. His brothers were looking at him in utter disbelief.  
  
"Please, Ronnikens. You don't really believe that do you? We've seen lots of things," said George rather vaguely. Ron winced; at the mental image.  
  
"Anyways, what does Harry like? Maybe we could give him a present or something," George suggested.  
  
Fred rolled his eyes, and bit his lip thoughtfully before he spoke.  
  
"I don't think that's going to be enough, but I however, do have a little plan..."  
  
***  
  
Harry consumed into his last thoughts before he fell into deep sleep.  
  
Perhaps Cho was bald...  
  
***  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Hope there's enough to make you laugh. Remember to review. H/HR stuff coming later. Rated R for a reason.  
  
~Court 


	2. Oh, I did that?

____________________________________  
  
By The Way, I Don't Really Love You  
  
Disclaimer: I own a pair of socks.  
  
Summary: Cho's demanding ways to her boyfriend Harry makes the Weasley twins infuriated. They need a distraction to Harry; and the victim? Hermione Granger.  
  
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***  
  
Nothing could escape the lips of Harry when he saw the sight before him. Cho's ass up in the air, talking- no, flirting with Neville Longbottom. The Gryffindor table was watching the rather malevolent couple. Harry wrinkled up his nose in disgust.  
  
A hand patted Harry's shoulder.  
  
"Don't worry about Cho," a soft whisper said in his ear.  
  
He widened his eyes and turned around. It was Hermione.  
  
Well, barely.  
  
Her legs were fastened into long brown boots, which brought out the shape of her well shaped ankles, they looked very loose, for they kept swinging as she grew closer.  
  
A maroon colored blouse that intentionally was just above her stomach,and she had on a pair of pants with glittered diamonds at the top. Her hair was pushed into a ponytail that hung over her forehead; she had obviously had tried to dress like a muggle model; and had accomplished with great effort. Although her blush barely showed, and the top of her eyes were smeared with pink.  
  
"Hermione?" asked Harry, gaping.  
  
"The one and only," Hermione stuttered slightly. One of her brown boots was moving in the other direction now, panic ran through her and she slipped out of her standing position.  
  
She shrieked loudly, and one of the boots fell out of her right ankle, zooming up in midair.  
  
Everything was in slow motion. People crowded around, chattering and shrieking. The boot was gaining on a group of people in the Gryffindor table.  
  
And in one instant, Cho turned around to check out all the commotion; and in that second, must have been the best moment of Hermione Granger's life.  
  
The boot smacked Cho in the face, and she fell on the floor, clutching her face in horror. Her hair seemed lopsided. Hermione crinkled her eyebrows. What the hell is wrong with her hair? Could she be-  
  
Her thought was stopped by Harry's words.  
  
"Here," Harry had said, reaching out a hand to Hermione. She grinned, her whole face flushing with achievement and embarrassment.  
  
Pulling off the other boot, she nodded silently and ran out of the Great Hall; roars of laughter and catcalls heard behind her.  
  
The three Weasley brothers stared at each other with widened eyes, biting their lips.  
  
Finally Ron spoke up.  
  
"Er, that didn't go too well."  
  
***  
  
Hermione Granger gasped for breath, sweeping water over her face once again. Drips of color and makeup fell on her cheeks, and she florished it with two paper towels.  
  
She was infuriated. Ron, Fred and George had told her all she had to do was distract Harry for a moment so he would know other women exsist. Hermione scowled at herself. It was sort of her fault; she had reluctantly agreed, but was a bit excited about a "project" especially since it had to do with Harry.  
  
She had thrown out the boots, and the clothes went back to Pavarti Patil, and the makeup had been 'accidently' finished and placed on Seamus Finnigan while he slept. Hermione giggled at the thought of him waking up, as a transexual.  
  
Hermione was utterly humiliated. In front of the whole school, she had tripped. But the good thing was, she had dragged Cho in too. Cho Chang was furious of course, and Hermione could still hear the yells and screams of the fight Harry and her had that were loudly heard from the base of the Prefect Bathroom; which included highly rude aspects about Hermione's clothes, face, and body.  
  
She swore to herself she would never get into Harry's love life again. Shaking her head in self-disgust, she sighed. She would never get into his love life again. Unless he wanted her to be.  
  
***  
  
"She's a bitch, Harry! I mean, what kind of a noble Gryffindor shows up in slutty clothes like that? And she almost ruined my perfect nose! Do you know how much my nose cost? And with a boot at least!" Cho's deglaring voice sailed throughout the deserted Prefect Bathroom. They had not bothered to lock it. Cho had simply grabbed Harry's collar and dragged him in there; with people watching!  
  
Harry let Cho insult Hermione in every way possible. He listened, his fists clenched.  
  
Who would dare to insult his best friend? Hermione was a sweet, smart, and noble girl. She was merely innocent and pure; and a great person. She was also very pretty...  
  
Harry blinked, regaining the concious voice of Cho again.  
  
"And anyway, I broke several nails. Doesn't that slut know the style of fashion? I mean, I stole those bitchy nails! From my own dad. You know my dad, don't you? I know, you're uncomfortable in the subject of whether he is a woman or man; but he'd love you to come by for Christmas...anyways," Cho fluttered her long eyelash, which came off in a second, and fell to the floor.  
  
"Harry, are you listening?" Cho said, punching Harry lightly in the arm. Her hair swung to the side as she did this, and Harry noticed a peice fluttered away in midair to the right. He straightened up, nodding innocently.  
  
Yawning, he pleaded to go to bed. Cho premitted him, and Harry ran away, locking Cho in the bathroom.  
  
Cho's pleas for help were only heard by chuckiling passerbys.  
  
"Harry?! Harry?! Did you lock me in here? Harry, stop! Harry! Harry! My nose can't be too much near light. Harry!!!"  
  
***  
  
  
  
*Giggle* Okay fine, I was evil to Cho and made her totally OOC, and Hermione too. And I guess it wasn't THAT funny, but I hope it was worth waiting all that time for. Next chapter will be out sooner, I promise.  
  
Love you, and review, ~Court 


	3. I like your hair

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____________________________________

By The Way, I Don't Really Love You

Disclaimer: I own a pair of socks.

Summary: Cho's demanding ways to her boyfriend Harry makes the Weasley twins infuriated. They need a distraction to Harry; and the victim? Hermione Granger.

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"It's sort of better this way."

Hermione Granger shot a loathing glare at Lavander Brown, who shrugged her shoulders in reply.

"I mean, Pavarti, don't you think it looks nice? How it swings on her shoulders now, sort of sleek and shiny? And anyway, don't worry about it growing back all bushy again, I think I've gotten rid of the bad roots," Lavender explained, running a hand through Hermione's hair, admiring her handy work.

"What? Oh, yeah. It looks great. Anyways, do you think Kevin will like me in this?" Pavarti said, who was occupying her time looking lovingly in the mirror, admiring herself. She was wearing jeans that went midway up to her thighs, with a tight red shirt that clung to her chest like second skin. Her hair was curled, and she was turning around, looking to see if the jeans fit her the right way.

"Well, no shit, he's in Hufflepuff," sneered Lavander. Pavarti shot her a look, and they quickly started arguing about Hufflepuffs and their sexual tendencies. Hermione rolled her eyes and tuned them out, peering into the mirror, her nose scrunched up slightly. Lavander had cut her hair the muggle way, insisting that she had much experience with hair at home, and now instead of tangled bushy hair that flew every which way, it was now straight and short, up to her shoulders. Hermione's bangs made it hard to see, but Pavarti had convinced her that it was the pure hip style. 

Sure, her hair felt much better when shining through her fingers, and sure, it was much less of a hassle, and her hair was now sleek and shiny, swinging as she walked. She did look pretty good, but it was still a difference that she would have to deal with. One question. What would Harry think? They had been best friends for several years, and he had gotten quite content with her regular bush of hair. Hermione frowned slightly, scolding herself for thinking of Harry. Why should she care? Yeah, he was her friend, but a haircut shouldn't change anything.

Hermione, however, couldn't help thinking what Harry's reaction to her hair would be. Would he adore it, and agree that Lavander had done a spectacular job on her hair and that she should've worn it like this since her first year. Or would he scowl and say that she shouldn't have made a change, that she was lovely the way she was, and nothing should change that?

Privately, Hermione would have liked either reaction. But what she wasn't expecting, was no reaction at all.

*~*

Cho Chang was sitting next to Harry, which, Hermione noted, was against the rules at Hogwarts. She was supposed to be in the Ravenclaw table, Hermione thought. Swallowing the urge to smack that perfect fake little face of hers, she took a

seat across from Harry, next to Ron, who was busying himself eating large portions of breakfast and reading a letter that had arrived from him. Cho had her arm around Harry, and seemed to take no notice of Hermione's presence. She was merely whispering to him, smiling. He smiled back, and a sudden pang rushed through Hermione, however, she chose to hide her reaction and said "Good morning." to Ron.

Ron mumbled a response, wishing to busy himself still with gobbling down his food. Hermione rolled her eyes and forced a sweet smile at the couple across from her.

"Good morning, Harry. Cho," she nodded.

Cho looked her way, and smiled, but then went back to whispering to Harry, who had obviously not chosen to hear Hermione and did not answer.

"Good morning, Harry," Hermione said again, a bit louder this time.

Harry didn't answer. He was looking down at his hands, and Cho was grinning at him widely, nodding her head to pursue him to do something.

He finally looked at her, and nodded. 

A sudden lump settled in Hermione's throat, as Harry and Cho went back to flirting with each other. She looked down at her breakfast, having suddenly lost her appetite. Avoiding Ron's eyes, she packed up her books and hurried across The Great Hall and out in the hallway.

She was just about to cry when footsteps sounded off behind her, and someone grabbed her arm. She struggled, feeling oddly helpless.

"Get off, please!" she demanded, her books flinging to the side and onto the floor. The person that had grabbed her swung her around so that she was facing him.

It was Harry. Biting her lip, not trusting herself to speak, Hermione squatted down to pick up her belongings, idly avoiding Harry's stare piercing into her back. Soon, he was down too, helping her pick up the items.

As he handed her _Advanced Transfiguration for The Daring _and _Advanced Potions II - More Magical Than Ever, _their fingers brushed against each other, making Hermione's fingertips tingle slightly. She quickly reminded herself to avoid any touching contact made with Harry, and if it ever happened, trying not to get any rushing feelings from it. Flushing bright red, she turned away from him, carrying her books.

"'Mione, wait! Let's talk about this."

"Talk about what?" answered Hermione coldly, still walking. He was following her. She bit her lip, when had Harry seemed so annoying?

"About us. Our friendship. About Cho."

"Well, you're pretty subdued with what you want to do, Harry. Marry Cho and leave the last five years behind. What happened to fighting evil together and almost getting ourselves killed in an adventure? Where'd all that go? Up Cho's ass, probably," snarled Hermione. Even she was surprised. All the rage she had been fighting in, and all the sadness that had been locked up inside was slowly crawling through.

"That's not fair!"

"Fuck off, Harry, you think it's fair that you would throw away years of friendship just for a stupid girl that's not even your type? Nothing's fair!" Hermione was ready to storm off when she was grabbed by Harry, and their lips collided.

It might've been a split second, but it felt like hours for Hermione. Their lips had brushed against each other, and Hermione's had accidentally parted, which invited Harry's tongue to sweep across the bottom lip. She had thrown her arms around him quickly enough from instinct, and she gave a small shiver as his thumb rubbed against her chin.

He parted away from her, a look of confusion on his face.

She blinked at him, and they stood in silence, neither wanting to look at each other. 

"By the way, I like your hair."

*~*

OMG, Okay, I tried to make it up to you guys, but that was one lousy kiss description...and I haven't updated for MONTHS!! I have been so unfair, paying attention to my G/D and D/HR, that I didn't even take time to realize I hadn't updated on one of my fave couples...H/HR!!! I'm still trying to figure out a way to make it up to you guys, since this was a completely sucky chapter.

If you have any suggestions, just review...

lots of love,

-Court


	4. Cheesecake

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____________________________________

By The Way, I Don't Really Love You

Disclaimer: I own a pair of socks.

Summary: Cho's demanding ways to her boyfriend Harry makes the Weasley twins infuriated. They need a distraction to Harry; and the victim? Hermione Granger.

Note: I know the Weasley Twins are supposed to have graduated by now, but for this story I'll make them the same age as the golden trio, sorry for any inconvenience. Also, this is the last chapter because I couldn't leave it without updating and this is what I came up with. Hope you like it.

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"Harry!"

Harry turned his head and looked at Cho sheepishly, who was standing there, looking furious and her hands planted firmly on her hips.

"Come along, now," she said sternly, as if he was a little dog. Hermione gave a soft snort and muttered something inaudible under her breath.

"Yes, Hermione, did you say something?" Cho said, plastering a sweet smile on her face.

"Yes, I am afraid I called you a horrid bitch, Cho," she replied coldly, her voice rising as she batted her eyelashes innocently.

Cho tried to fan her eyelashes back, but one fell off and went steadily to the floor, so she sneered and snarled at Harry, tugging at his arm. He obeyed silently, throwing an apologetic look toward Hermione, who was looking at them stonily.

~*~

"So? How'd he like it?" Pavarti asked eagerly that night, sitting cross legged in her bed in her pink pajamas and dress gown.

"He said it was - he said he liked it," murmured Hermione, closing her eyes.

"Hermione, is there something your not telling me?" her friend asked, concerned.

"Yes," she responded.

"What is it? It's not that Chang girl again? Oh, Hermione! If you don't do something about this, she's going to control him completely! She's fake, and accessible...that's what guys don't know about her...they only concentrate on her innocent heartbreaker trance and fall over themselves while she's out getting her nose done!" Pavarti declared, with a light stroke of brilliance above her. Hermione snapped her eyes open and sighed.

"I suppose you're right, Pavarti, but if thats what guys like, I am hopeless," she groaned, flattening herself on the bed once more.

"You're NOT hopeless, Hermione! I have total faith with you. Okay, so the changing the appearance thing didn't work - but there is one thing guys can't resist," she said, grinning confidently.

"You're kidding me! I am not going to give myself to Harry just to get him to like me," Hermione said stubbornly.

"I am not saying you have to GIVE yourself to him," she said, rolling her eyes. "I am saying, show a little spunk, Hermione. Not someone else's spunk, not a bad-girl routine, but find your own spunk, own craze that you have."

"I am not sure I have any."

"I won't believe that for a second, Hermione Granger. Not when your the only girl to slap Draco Malfoy right across his damn, arrogant face. Yeah, I heard about that, and I won't let you forget it! Now quit yapping and seduce your man already," snapped Pavarti pulling the curtains to cover herself, and before long, soft breaths surrounded the dormroom.

~*~

"So...how's it going?" the Weasley twins asked.

"I am trying, keep your boxers on," snarled Ron, extremely irritated.

"I don't wear boxers..." George started to say, but Ron interrupted him.

"I did it! Come see!" Ron said, motioning his brothers over to the common room. They gasped as Ron smugly looked around in admiration.

The several armchairs were stuffed across the room other places, while two certain ones faced each other by the fireplace, where two small tables sat near them, both consisting of simply one wineglass of butterbeer, and a tiny plate of cheesecake.

Wait a minute - cheesecake?

"Cheesecake!?" roared the Weasley twins in distaste.

"Hey, it was all I could find!" their younger brother admitted, embarassed.

"Well, who cares, the damage's already done. Now, c'mon, Ron, you get Hermione, and Fred you get Harry."

"Let the show begin."

~*~

"Wear something nice, or you'll regret it," warned her redheaded best friend.

"Ronald Weasley, what are you on about?"

"Just do it, we have a surprise for you..."

Hermione widened her eyes, frightened. "The last time you said that..." her voice faded off.

"This is a good surprise, 'Mione, trust me. Now get dressed into something fancy," he said.

"Like what?"

"Like something fancy."

"You are so infuriating sometimes, you know that?"

"All more to love..."

~*~

"Oh no," breathed Hermione as she saw the person in the armchair.

Harry. 

"Have fun, you two," grinned Fred, and motioned his remaining brothers out of sight. 

"What kind of music you like?" George's voice called before they left upstairs.

"Err-..."

"Jazz alright?"

"Sure," Hermione and Harry said, and then both blushing and turning away.

"Crelvio jazz!"

A soft, withering tune began to play in the backround.

"Wow, cheesecake," said Harry finally, eyeing Hermione, who giggled a bit.

"Well, you have to ...err- thank their efforts," she said, eyeing the mug of cocoa. They burst into nervous laughter.

"I broke up with Cho, by the way," he said.

Hermione dropped the mug she was holding and it splattered over Harry's pants.

"Oh God, I am so sorry!" she exclaimed, getting up.

"It's okay," he assured her, but she placed a simple drying spell and reparo spell on the mug.

"So, how'd she take it?" said Hermione, trying to restrain the grin that was coming into her face.

"Errr..."

-FLASHBACK-

__

"Cho, I - I care about her, okay! She's my best friend! You should have no control over who I see and don't! By the way, I err- I didn't mean what I said...I don't really love you.."

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" she screamed, and pulled her hair off and threw it in his face. His muffled protest sounded over the wig.

"I HAD SO MANY FUCKING PLANS FOR US! WHY, HARRY, WHY! THAT -"

-END OF FLASHBACK-

"She took it fine," said Harry, managing a small smirk.

Hermione smiled back, and blinked. "Harry - about the kiss..."

"Shhh," he pressed a finger over her lips, leaning over. She took an intake of her breath, nuzzling her neck into his soft fragrance.

"It was wonderful," she muttered.

"I know," he responded, and lifting her chin up, collided her lips against his. She gave a small moan and clutched his back, now standing up.

He pulled her into his lap and she leaned over him, planting small kisses on the sides of his neck, and he made a raw animal sound, pressing against her so she could feel his reaction. His hands flew across the fabric of her red and black cocktail dress.

They let go, both breathing heavily.

"God, why didn't I do this before?" he said, closing his eyes.

"Breaking up with Cho?"

"That, and ...kissing you...maybe more?"

She grinned at him. "In time..."

"Right now, in time you mean?" asked Harry hopefully. She smirked playfully, unbuttoning his shirt slowly.

"Harry?" she whispered between the kisses she planted on his toned chest,

"Yeah?" he whispered back.

"Do you want your cheesecake?"

~*~ FIN ~*~

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